Friday, July 17, 2009

Beware Healthcare!

Jesus came to me last night in a dream, and told me that I need to speak out against the healthcare bill currently being debated in Congress.

According to Jesus, if the Democrats are able to pass this bill, it will have very dire consequences for our nation! If fact, if I read my Leviticus properly, it will be one of the early signs of Armageddon ("FOR God wept at the sight of so many healthy people with access to MRIs")

Our heavenly father did not want his people to have access to health care, otherwise, why would He have created the plague? Measles, leprosy and swine flu are so obviously part of his greater plan for humanity – something we should never question! We should be grateful for such a wide variety of disease, and not waste our efforts on trying to cure the sick!

Now I know some smart mouth is going to bring up in the comments that Jesus himself cured the sick and helped the lame to walk. But what the Bible leaves out (lack of space, most assuredly) is that Jesus charged mightily for his miracles. By today's standards, our saviour would have charged somewhere around $232,569.00 to heal the blind. More if the patient needed to stay overnight or eat.

Trust me and Jesus, if healthcare passes, you and everyone that you love will DIE... someday.

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