One of my favorites sources of information has to be the anti-abortion Baby Killer Monthly. It is full of useful tips on how to harass clinics and curtail a woman's right to choose. I especially enjoyed the interview with Rep. John Adams of Ohio, who is proposing that a woman can be barred from getting an abortion without the permission of a man.
While reading the interview, Jesus spoke to me and made me realize that fetuses are being coddled in America. Instead of having to pay their own way, we are treating them like welfare cheats and allowing them to sneak into movies, onto public transportation, into sporting events, etc. WITHOUT PAYING.
It is already a scientific FACT that fetuses are persons - for the anti-abortion movement, conservative legislators and Jesus tell us so. And the courts are slowly making the same realization. Fetuses are thinking beings already quite capable of influencing the decisions of the women who carry them.
In fact, fetuses are using their cute looks and supposed "helplessness" to corrupt their mothers. I am certain that ultrasound is a tool the Devil uses to manipulate women into committing crime! It is bad enough that pregnant women think it is acceptable for their fetuses to accompany them to R and NC-17 rated films. Do they not realize the perversion and depravity which they are exposing their children to? To me, it is child abuse.
But I am much more bothered and disturbed by the theft! When these women go to the movies, do they pay an additional admission for their fetus? No!
Do we need to brand THOU SHALT NOT STEAL into the hides of women like we did in medieval times?
Movie theaters are losing money, and I place the blame squarely on fetuses and their accomplices, the pregnant women who carry them. Back when I was able to see movies (before I became a political prisoner), ushers would regularly walk up and down the aisles with a flashlight, looking for patrons trying to record films or unmarried couples engaging in immoral activities like holding hands.
If the MPAA is really concerned about theft, they should start cracking down on these young cheats. I suggest that fetuses be charged the same price for a movie ticket as senior citizens, and likewise with public transportation (though I believe that Jesus is firmly against any kind of mass transit system).
I urge all Republican and anti-abortion leaders to insist that we make honest citizens of our nation's fetus-citizens by mandating admission fees for them.
Here is a list of places where freeloading fetuses are corrupting our nation. Please feel free to add your own examples in the comments section.
- Sporting events
- Mechanical bulls
- Movies and plays
- Public transportation (busses, airplanes, trains)
- Amusement parks
- Shooting ranges
- All you can eat buffets