Wake Up America!

Since I've been in prison these past four years, I haven't been keeping up much with the news. I'm sure George W. Bush is triumphantly finishing his last term, stuffed with noble accomplishments. And I'm sure that John McCain will be an able president in these times of peace and prosperity. 

But I've been reading some nonsense about this Vice Presidential Sarah Palin woman and her church, Wasalia Assembly of God. Now I'm confident that Palin has been thoroughly vetted by McCain and the Republicans, and they've been through everything but her underwear drawer, but it bothers me that she belongs to such a loony church. 

Let me explain. According to this article in Raw Story (I was trying to root out sin, and was completely thrown by the URL), Palin's church believes that the world's refuge after Armageddon will be in Alaska! At first, I thought they were joking, or trying to throw post-Armageddon mutants off their trail, but now I think they truly believe it. 

Of course, anyone with an advanced Doctorate in Biblical Interpretation will tell you that the REAL location of the post-Apocalyptic refuge will be in Nevada. Heck, I built my Spiritual Bunkers in an undisclosed, secret location in the desert there for a reason! After the last great war, as foretold in the Bible, it will be hard to breathe the air, as the sky will probably still be on fire. So of course, men will have to live under the Earth for a few hundred years. Alaska's ground is permanently frozen, so how will humans tunnel? 

If you see Sarah Palin campaigning around this great land, you ask her for Rev. Hugh. Ask her, "Sarah, many scientists and biblical scholars disagree with your church's view that Alaska, and not Nevada, will be a post-Apocalyptic refuge, and if this preposterous theory is true, how do you expect humans to tunnel in frozen Alaskan soil? 

Let's see what she has to say...